Truisms
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die. - Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you’re wrong. - I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger. - There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. - Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died. - I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for
the rest of the day. - Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. - I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten-page project that I swear I did
not make any changes to. - “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this -
ever. - I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and
run away? - I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. - I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call. - I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. - Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first
saw it. - I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. - The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text. - I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger. - How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod
and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word. they said? - I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers
and sisters! - Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever. - Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
- There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. - As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. - Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is. - Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and hit the snooze button from 3
feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! - These came as low priority mail, but a good laugh should always be
high priority on your list.
*My mom e-mailed me this list and I LOVED it! Enjoy :)
